Crank Calling Fun
Another thing I found buried in a box somewhere, as I prepare to move, is an audio tape I recorded a good five years ago that had one of my best crank call schemes to date (and I've done a few of them over the years, let me tell ya):

My brother and I used to work part-time at a building that also had career counselling services. At night, we would have access to hundreds and hundreds of resumes, and decided to have a little fun. Posing as a company called `Direct Job Network' we'd call up people on the list (most of them in bookeeping) and pretend we could refer them to potential employers. Then of course, we asked all kinds of bizarre questions.

I know it sounds cruel -- actually it WAS cruel -- but a lot of fun nonetheless. Here's a rough transcript from memory of one of the half-dozen calls we made:

Canadian Bulldog: What would your ideal work week be like?
Job Prospect: I could do forty hours a week.
Canadian Bulldog: Do you work well with others?
Job Prospect: Yes.
Canadian Bulldog: Could you work well with someone if that person beat you up?
Job Prospect: Beat me... up?
Canadian Bulldog: Hypothetically... Could you work with them still?
Job Prospect: Yes
(I SWEAR this is all true!)
Canadian Bulldog: Do you show up for work on time?
Job Prospect: Yes
Canadian Bulldog: Do you have access to a car?
Job Prospect: Yes
Canadian Bulldog: What experience do you have, if any, with fireworks?
Job Prospect: Fireworks?
Canadian Bulldog: Yes
Job Prospect: Fireworks?
Canadian Bulldog: Yes
Job Prospect: I have lots of experience. I was a bookkeeper for three years, I worked for an accountant...
Canadian Bulldog: Yes, but none of those jobs involve fireworks.
Job Prospect: Fireworks?
Canadian Bulldog: Let's move on. What qualities would you say you have in common with actress Betty White?
Job Prospect: Betty White?
Canadian Bulldog: Yes, you remember her from television's 'The Golden Girls'.
Job Prospect: Betty White? I know her. I would say we both like to help people, very kind, funny, honest...
(Again, not making ANY of this up!)
Canadian Bulldog: Do you support the new World order?
Job Prospect: New world order?
Canadian Bulldog: Or you more in the camp of WCW?
Job Prospect: I don't know them.
Canadian Bulldog: So you're more of an ECW fan or something, then....

I'll try to remember more of this, or if I get to it, I'll transcribe some of this stuff one day, word for word...