The Curse of Billy Miner

I brought it upon myself.

For the last two years or so, every time I've gone to The Keg (a chain of steakhouses across Canada and, I believe, Texas) with my brother and sister-in-law, we've played something of a scam on their staff. You see, whenever you tell them it's your birthday, you get a FREE slice of Billy Miner Pie (kind of a coffee ice cream pie with OREO crust-type dessert). Truth be told, I don't even care for Billy Miner's favorite dessert that much (and we're not sure who Billy Miner was - perhaps an old prospector who gained notoriety by giving people free pie on their birthdays), but we've turned it into a game to see how often we can snag said pie.

It's been (in no apparent order): my grandfather's birthday, my sister-in-law's birthday, my brother's birthday, my sister's birthday, my friend's birthday, and mine at least three times now over the past two years and coincidentally, we end up at The Keg to celebrate. Sometimes, it will accidentally fall on our ACTUAL birthdays, but we try to avoid that as much as possible (where's the fun in that?).

The plan last night was for my brother, sister-in-law and I to meet up for dinner and then head downtown for a night of social interaction (eg drinking heavily). I arrived at the restaurant first (and I damn well better, as it's in the lower level of my apartment complex) and I came prepared with a gift bag to celebrate my sister-in-law's (ahem) birthday. To weigh the bag down, I bought a compass at a nearby dollar store and a bottle of Pop Shoppe (only true Ontarians will understand that reference) brand cream soda. As if they were going to check the gift bag to see if I wasn't faking. But give me props for coming prepared.

Then my brother and sister-in-law arrived - THEY had gifts too (it was my birthday as well, apparently). Their fake gifts were a lot nicer - a box of chocolates, and a book and DVD I had lent them. So the official story was, it was both mine and my sister-in-law's birthday (quite plausible, because our ACTUAL birthdays are within days of each other).

Dinner was great, and without us asking for it, we're brought our complimentary dessert -- not one, but TWO slices of Billy Miner pie. This was a real coup for us in the world of pie-scamming. We act surprised ("Wow! This is even better than my birthday last month!") and the waitress points out that she managed to get us two whole slices of pie (we assumed she was just jockeying for a better tip). I took maybe four, five bites of mine and then passed it off to my brother. My sister-in-law had her own slice (this becomes important later on).

After dinner, we come back upstairs to my place to drop off the fake gifts and plan our evening, when all of a sudden, both my brother and I get sick to our stomach. Sister-in-law is fine. This ruins our entire evening. We're trying to think of what could have happened -- the three of us had completely different meals and even beverages -- and then hits us. The waitress, possibly wise to our game, spiked the Billy Miner Pie!

Okay, I'd like to see YOU come up with a better explanation. Until then, the curse of Billy Miner lives on.