One Angry Man

Soooo.... I just finished my first day of jury duty selection today. What a SCREWED UP process!

I have to drive like 45 minutes out of town because I'm now officially outside of Toronto. Arrive at 8:30, and we're told the selection part of it could take up to 3 days. I wasn't thrilled about that, but I'd heard about it ahead of time, at least. This comes into play later.

The thing doesn't get underway until almost 9:30, where about 150-200 of us are crammed into a hot, sweaty courthouse. I'd brought a book with me (ironically, John Grisham's The Last Juror) to pass the time, but I quickly found out we couldn't read in there. Argh!

We watch a video that was made in, I'm going to say, 1982, showing us the benefits of "doing our civic duty" and explaining the process by having people in leisure suits tell us that it was a good thing we were doing. I swear, I almost expected Troy McClure to make a cameo at one point; it was THAT dated. "You may remember me from such government films as Jury Duty: A Forced Privelege...."

Then, we're dismissed for 10 minutes and have to reassemble again once the first trial is set up. For all the time it took us to exit the room, we might as well have sit still. The judge gives us about 1,000 reasons for people to be excused (sadly, I didn't offer myself for any of them) and he excused each and every person who took him up on the offer.

After that, the court draws names from a drum and both lawyers can choose to accept us on the jury, or if one of them challenges a juror, we're excused. If you've ever read any Grisham, this is all old hat to you.

The first batch of 20 are drawn at random and the lawyers plow through most of them. Another 20, and they just have enough people for the 12-person jury. It's funny, because I'm starting to guess who which lawyer will challenge, and I was usually right.

When it's all over, I breathe a sigh of relief. Then they chose the alternates (D'oh!) So you can guess how this turns out; I'm one of the six chosen to be examined as one of two alternates. Fortunately, JUST as they're about to get to me, they've chosen their do, and that's lunch, people.

An hour later, a new judge takes the podium and suddenly, EVERYONE is coming up with an excuse to be disqualified. Some of them legit, some of them not. The second judge is fair, although she does refuse a few requests. There must have been 20 or 30, weird considering only a few people challenged last time around, and this was the EXACT SAME jury pool!

This trial will last about a week, we're told. I cross my fingers and hope they don't pick me. I mean, what would be the odds of... D'OH!!! Selected again! I get up to the front of the courtroom, and this time they actually interview me. I figured all along once I told them I was a reporter, I'd be a undesirable juror (well, between that and my physical appearance).

I was right (on both counts). Though, surprisingly, it was the prosecution, not the defense, that challenged me. I was figuring it would be the other way around. Weird...

So, safe in the knowledge that I'd gone through the whole damn thing twice, the judge decides to call it a day. That was pretty painless, I'm thinking.

Then the bailiff announces that we have to come back NEXT MONDAY. AND THE MONDAY AFTER THAT! FUCK!!! That's what they meant by three days -- it just wasn't three consecutive days!

I understand the process and all, but it was a very frustrating day. Can't believe I have to go back again (at least) twice....