Movie Review - The Longest Yard

To get something out of the way: YES, the only reason my brother and I chose to see this was because of the wrestlers' involvement. And NO, I had nothing but poor expectations going in. Strictly one of those where I knew it would be "so bad its good". Sigh - I tend to see a lot of those movies.



I vaguely remember the original Longest Yard, but I wasn't particularly impressed from the little of it I recall. The premise, though, is workable: a former football star (Adam Sandler) is sent to prison after a drunk-driving accident and in the wake of a point-shaving scandal. When he arrives at the big house, he's pressured by the warden into first "consulting" the all-guard football team, and then creating a team of inmates to job to the guard's team.

Without giving away too much, I will weigh in that the film's use of the three biggest stars is just dreadful. I'm sorry, I just don't buy Adam Sandler as the tough-as-nails streetfighter. You see an Adam Sandler, you're not thinking "Wow, this guy could probably start a prison riot." He'd be far better off sticking to one-liners.

Speaking of which... Chris Rock has some of the worst lines in the film! Which isn't so bad except I usually find him extremely funny and just think some improv dialogue would have worked wonders here instead of his obviously-overscripted "jokes". And Burt Reynolds is just wasted here. He could have been used for comedy value, parodying himself effectively, but that just never happened.

How did the wrestlers do? Steve Austin was basically himself, save for (hopefully!) the racist streak his prison guard has. Kevin Nash had a bit of a funny shtick going (though we're convinced when he picked up the steroid pills, it wasn't actually part of the film; a camera just happened to be hanging around on the set and improvised.) The thing is - Nash just looks too OLD to solicit other roles in films like this. I'm sorry, but it's true. Bill Goldberg was just kind of there and didn't really add anything to the film, despite having arguably the biggest role of the wrestlers. Hey, kind of like in real life! Bob Sapp was actually quite funny doing a overstuffed goof gimmick.

There are a few plot points that border on the ridiculous, but nothing that really makes you slap your head in frustration. The ending was pretty satisfying, all things considered, and the movie actually picks up steam towards the end, which I wasn't expecting.

Overall, it was an okay movie with a few cute lines, but absolutely nothing you couldn't wait to see until it comes out on DVD. Better than I expected - but not much.

For a much more thorough review of this movie, click here.