Fantasy-Booking The Draft... And Beyond
Okay, I know everyone and their mother (especially Buff Bagwell's) has predicted the draft already. I'm going to do something a little bit different in that, I won't get into where EVERYONE goes, but just look at what I think should be the main issues from here till SummerSlam. Obviously, some of it is based on rumors out there, most of it is pure fantasy booking on my part. Here we go..
The draft results in the following main changes (again, I'm not going to get into the lower mid-carders here)
Raw -- John Cena, World's Greatest Tag Team, Tazz, Billy Gunn, The Undertaker, Rikishi, Sable
SmackDown -- Triple H, Booker T, Edge, D-Von Dudley, Matt Hardy, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Jerry Lawler, Stephanie McMahon
Also... Vince McMahon suspends Bill Goldberg for not showing up to the draft.
In the main event of Raw, Evolution teams up "for the final time" against Chris Benoit, John Cena, Mick Foley and Shawn Michaels. HHH taps again in the crossface, causing a frustrated Evolution to turn on him. HBK contemplates helping out his old Clique partner, but before he does so.. he's attacked by Chris Benoit. "What is happening here?" screams JR as the show fades to black.
On SmackDown, Vince McMahon starts the show and re-names Stephanie as the GM (she's now a heel and has forgotten the whole daddy-tried-to-beat-me-up thing). This causes several problems which (of course) is the crux of the entire show, causing:
(a) HHH not to show up for his first day or work, speculating that he doesn't want to work for his ex-wife
(b) Stone Cold is now the SmackDown Sheriff, causing yet another chapter in the Austin Vs Authority battle
(c) The U.S. title is vacated because Cena switched to Raw
(d) D-Von asks Stephanie for a trade. He is turned down.
(e) Paul Heyman resigns in disgust, not before cutting a promo reminiscent of his anti-McMahon tirade before Survivor Series `02. "You made Brock Lesnar leave, you are splitting up tag teams and families, and now your dumb ***** of a daughter takes my job. Vince McMahon, you can't fire me -- I quit!"
BACKLASH - APRIL
Benoit defeats Michaels... with the help of Evolution, cementing his heel turn
Mick Foley defeats Randy Orton... by countout, when Orton flees the ringside area.
Undertaker soundly beats Kane in a casket match
On the undercard: WGTT defeats the teams of Flair/Batista, La Resistance, Cade/Jindrak, Hurricane/Rosey and RVD/Bubba (the whole `tag team without partners thing') to win the vacant Raw tag team titles; Chris Jericho defeats Christian & Trish in a handicap match; John Cena beats Billy Gunn.
Bubba Ray and Spike give their notice to Bischoff post-Backlash. It's even written up on wwe.com to look realistic.
JUDGMENT DAY - MAY
Eddy Guerrero defeats Big Show in some sort of special stip match. Afterwards, Kurt Angle makes his return from injury and attacks Guerrero.
Edge wins a mini-tournament in his first match back and is named the U.S. champion. HHH was scheduled to be in the tourney, but no shows.
Rey Mysterio defeats Chavo Guerrero to win the Cruiserweight title, setting up for a feud with Matt Hardy.
In a tag team gauntlet match to fill the vacant tag team titles, the reunited Too Cool (Grandmaster Sexay returns; did I mention that already? Aw, crap) defeat The Bashams, Kidman/London and A-Train/Rhyno.
Bodyguard Bradshaw (even though he's no longer with Heyman) defeats D-Von in a loser-gets-fired match.
Post-Judgment Day, RVD gets into an argument with Stephanie, upset that he hasn't been booked in any matches. Tajiri and his group are stunned by Austin and leave the building, embarrased.
BADD BLOOD - JUNE
Pre-Badd Blood, Bischoff orders Jonathan Coachman to join the announce team, which angers both JR and Tazz. On the hEaT before the PPV, Lance Storm abandons Val Venis during a prelim match.
Chris Benoit defeats The Undertaker.
Mick Foley beats Randy Orton in a Hell In The Cell match.
Chris Jericho beats the returning Scott Steiner. Soonafter, Steiner, Test, Christian and Trish form a stable.
Michaels and Cena defeat Flair and Batista.
WGTT defeat La Resistance. Afterwards, Bubba Ray, D-Von and Spike Dudley run to the ring and clean house.
Tazz walks out of the announce booth sometime in June.
VENGEANCE - JULY
On wwe.com, early July: "World Wrestling Entertainment has agreed to part ways with Rob Van Dam. We wish him the best of luck in future endeavours."
Eddy Guerrero defeats Kurt Angle in a 60 minute iron man match.
Big Show beats Edge to win the U.S. title.
Too Cool retain their belts against The Bashams, and at the conclusion of the match, The Dudleyz make another surprise ambush.
The PPV closes with a Paul Heyman vignette, cackling like a mad scientist that `The end of WWE is coming at SummerSlam'.
SUMMERSLAM - AUGUST
Co-main events have Chris Benoit losing the title to John Cena (with Bret Hart as special guest referee) and Eddie Guerrero retaining against... oh, hell, I don't know. I've been typing this on and off for an hour; let's just get to the good stuff.
During the Randy Orton-Rock Intercontinental match, ref bump and who returns, but.... Triple H!!! Fans actually start cheering until he attacks The Rock. Then he does the same to Randy Orton. Ric Flair, Batista, Undertaker, Shawn Michaels... all of them try to stop him but can't (just like in real life :D ).
Why? Because HHH's being helped by The Dudleyz... and RVD... and Tajiri... and Tazz.... and Lance Storm... and Rhyno... throw in Justin Credible, Raven or some other assorted names from the past and you've got the start of Paul Heyman's ECW.
So (he says, exhausted from writing all of this), what do you folks think?