Snarky comments from the columnist behind Inside The Ropes, True Wrestling Stories, Breaking News and Wrestling With Literature.
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Monday, May 29, 2006
So I may have shared this before, but my usual morning ritual consists of:
5:35 Wake up
5:45 Head to the bus stop
6:10 Bus takes me to subway station
6:30 Subway station takes me to gym
6:45 Quick workout
7:30 Board subway again
8:15 Arrive at work
So as usual, I get to the subway station at 6:10 or thereabouts and notice that the subway doors are locked. Huh? Turns out there's a strike by the Toronto Transit Commission (wait, they're not calling it a strike; guess it depends on whether you're listening to the unions or not), but bottom line, there's no service.
Usually, there are tons of taxis waiting near the subway station, but none today. It took me another half-hour to flag one down (and that was with someone else who was headed the same way). Needless to say, missed out on the workout and I'm lucky to be at work at all right now. Others are still stranded all over the city.
I understand that there are work stoppages from time to time - shit happens. This isn't the first TTC strike I've lived through. But usually, there's at least SOME advance notice. There was nothing today.
To reiterate - ugh.
Thursday, May 25, 2006
(Geez, I've really gotten behind on my non-column posts, haven't I? Hmmmm.....)
Know Your ECW
On this historic day, WWE and Sci-Fi Channel have now officially announced the return of Extreme Championship Wrestling as a full-time brand, to air Tuesday nights at 10pm. Could there possibly be any better occasion for making sure you're fully up to speed on the stars of ECW? Of course not. So whether you're a former Loyal Mutant (that's what we called ourselves back in 1997, anyway) who just needs a refresher, or you're a newbie still trying to figure out just what's so awesome about this Sabu and his killer catchphrase, you ought to check this out: it's Canadian Bulldog's fully-illustrated Guide to ECW. Only in the very latest edition of Inside the Ropes.
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Latest WWI Column
Seven years ago today....
It's weird; May 23rd should be a happy ocassion for me, as one of my best friends was married on this day in 1999. Unfortunately, I'll always remember it (also) as the death of Owen Hart.
I'm sure I've mentioned it here before (probably last May 23rd as well), but Hart was one of the nicest wrestlers I ever had the opportunity to meet. Very upbeat, not to mention how hard he worked in the ring. And his slightly off-kilter sense of humor was perfect. I always remember the one line on Raw, right after he did the "retirement angle" after "injuring" Dan Severn in a match. Meanwhile, Stone Cold was looking for someone (McMahon?) on that episode. He was going into everyone's locker rooms, and burst into Owen's. Owen comes back with "Don't look at me -- I'm retired." Just an unforgettable line.
Oddly enough, I was going through some boxes last night and came across some pictures that I'd taken at a WWF press event in the summer of '98. A few of them were of Owen (that was the first time I'd met him at one of these things). He was upbeat, and one of them is where he's posing with the former Mayor of Toronto, "Nutty" Mel Lastman, as well as the president of WWF Canada, Carl "Those Seats Are RESERVED!" DeMarco. I also have a picture of me posing with Jason Sensation ("that thing was funny for about five minutes.") and me interviewing The Undertaker. I have to scan those pics in one of these days so I can post them online.....
Anyways, just wanted to say I still miss Owen. One of my all-time faves, and he left us way too soon.
Monday, May 22, 2006
Judgment Day Thoughts
One word: Shit. Another word: Why? A third word: Ugh.
Honestly, I'm not entirely sure why we ended up ordering this. I had my brother and sister and their respective partners over for dinner, so just for something to do afterwards, we ordered the PPV.
I don't even want to get into the specifics; it was THAT bad. No, the wrestling wasn't terrible, but the decisions made no sense (save for King Booker and Rey retaining, and they didn't even do THOSE great). Kurt Angle vs. Mark F'ing Henry was the only real "Match of the Night" candidate. And even that sucked. To top it all off, the sixteen different segments dedicated to Melina's breakdown? A tad too much.
Easily the worst SmackDown PPV since the brand split, and THAT is saying something.
Friday, May 19, 2006
It's May 19th....
What the hell? I thought "everybody was going to know" today. I don't know yet. I hope this wasn't all just some sort of clever ploy to get me to see some sort of movie.
A bait and switch scam in professional wrestling? Well, I never!
On a sidenote, I probably won't be able to see See No Evil or The Da Vinci Code this weekend just because of prior commitments. But you've GOTTA love the E! Online review, the only one I could find on the Net this morning:
See No Evil was not screened in advance for critics. We therefore suspect it's simply awful, but we're seeing it this morning and will post a review as soon as possible.
Poor, poor Kane. First he gets burned as a child.... and now this.
Thursday, May 18, 2006
With SmackDown!'s Judgment Day pay-per- view just days away, it's time to start looking ahead to the big show. Using all his EXCLUSIVE~! clout, the Canadian Bulldog has even obtained a few nuggets of expert analysis from the Voices of SmackDown!. Without Michael Cole, let's just say none of us would fully grasp how really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really small Rey Mysterio is. So Bulldog and pals run down the whole PPV line-up for you, and there's plenty more stuff too (including plenty of details about the Booker/Batista Shootfight of Doom!); all in the very latest Inside the Ropes.
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
Again with the plugs.....
I've probably mentioned this here before -- and I know I've snuck it in to various ITR's over the past few months -- but my good friend Stuart Stone makes his primetime debut tonight (unless you count that one "primetime" episode of OverTime Sports Talk -- inside joke) on MTV.
While I wish I could get the show live here up North, I'm hoping its not too long before the Canadian affiliate picks it up. In any event, if you're in the U.S. and have MTV access, I implore you all to check out the debut of Blowing' Up at 10:30 est tonight.
Monday, May 15, 2006
Book Plug (AND NOT MINE!)
Just wanted to let everyone know that James Guttman's World Wrestling Insanity is now available in bookstores everywhere, and that you should, RUN, not walk, to get yourself a copy.
Full disclosure and all that: sure, I write for the guy's site, and I would try to help him anyways, but I have always dug JG's style of writing, and think the subject matter will make for an excellent book. To me, the fact that he interviewed a ton of former WWE guys (as opposed to making this strictly about his own opinions) speaks volumes about how this won't be your typical WWE-style release.
Anyways, yes, I'm biased, but I would still encourage you all to track down a copy. I'm planning on doing the same....
Thursday, May 11, 2006
Latest ITR - The Anniversary Edition!!!
Celebrate Good Times!
RAW's on a bit of a hot streak, ECW's coming back, and "Inside the Ropes" is celebrating an anniversary, baby! Does it get any better than this? Well, of course it does, but for the purposes of this website and this teaser blurb, let's just pretend this is the height of good-times-havery. At the center of our celebration is the Canadian Bulldog, who can't believe he's made it to his Three Year Anniversary. Taking a moment to toot his own horn, he's got a Star Studded Guest List of internet semi-stars to honor and roast him. Plus, there's the usual slate of exclusive news (including a look at all of wrestling's new couples and baby-makers, such as HHH/Steph, who are also celebrating these days) in a special Inside the Ropes.
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
Sure, NOW he starts doing this....
I am a friend of former Intercontinental Champion The Honky Tonk Man. No, not an "actual" friends, but he's on my MySpace list (which is kind of the same thing, right? RIGHT?). I noticed the following bulletin today:
The Honky Tonk Man is available for bookings world wide! The Greatest Intercontinental Champion of All Time is available for wrestling, autograph signings, speaking appearances, social events, fund raisers, wrestling seminars and more.
Plus! The Honky Tonk Man is now an ordained minister and his services are available for weddings, baptisms, funerals, exorcisms, and more! Don't miss your chance to have Brother Honky at your event.
For rates and availability, contact Ryan Smith to firstname.lastname@example.org or by calling 1-888-633-2124.
My only question: he couldn't have my brother's wedding when I asked him?
Sunday, May 07, 2006
Everything's Coming Up Bulldog!
Folks, I haven't legitimately been this happy about life in general in a long time. Long story short, I am about to make a major life change (Yes, I'm coming out of the closet. There, happy?) which should be all set up by week's end. This will end, essentially, three years of a REALLY bad situation for me.
On top of that, there should be a pretty memorable ITR coming up this week. Really excited about how its coming together so far.
And on top of THAT, I have a rare Monday off work tomorrow. Woo hoo!
Anyways, I don't know how long this will last, but a great feeling right now.
Review - Mission Impossible 3
I was never a massive fan of the first two MI's, though I wouldn't say I disliked them, either. Kind of in the middle, I suppose. But I'd heard that this one was supposed to outdo the first two installments, so why not check it out?
This film begins with Ethan Hunt enjoying civilian life, though you know it won't last long. A former trainee is trapped in Berlin, and so he rejoins his old team (though I only recognize Ving Rhames from the original team; I could be wrong on that) and travels to Berlin, eventually leading to the search of something called "The Rabbit's Foot".
What is it? Well, we never exactly find out, which kind of sucks, and that's not the only loose end left untied. And really, that's my only gripe with this film. Sure, there's a whole lotta suspension of disbelief going on, but that's to be expected. Yet the first two hours are so are really fast-paced and interesting, with a lot of spectacular stunts along the way. So no complaints there.
In the end, is this a must-see? Probably not. Yet I can't deny it was a lot of fun along the way.
Thursday, May 04, 2006
It looks as though OOur Very OOwn Intrepid Investigative Reporter, the Canadian Bulldog, has caught himself a severe case of the ECW Fever. With things moving ahead every faster towards ECW's revival, it's no wonder. Luckily for us, along with a fever, Bulldog's also got his usual heaping helping of EXCLUSIVE~! news, covering everything from the story of Palmer Cannon's demise to TNA's possible financial savior to proof positive that one of Bulldog's OO Co-Workers is (to put it in technical terms) a "wad." All that, and five new ItR Trading Cards for all you collectors out there! Enjoy Bulldog's latest edition of Inside the Ropes.
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
Monday, May 01, 2006
Wow - another record month for blog hits in April! I don't know what I'm writing (Cinzia Hart) to get people to come here, but it sure is rewarding to see numbers like that.
If everything goes according to plan, you should see one of my more controversial columns up on World Wrestling Insanity by tomorrow afternoon. Of course, if I say it will DEFINITELY be out by then, it won't. After the last couple of months, I've just learned to make vague threats instead of promising specific dates.
Yes, and for the two people that seem to care... there WILL be a new Inside The Ropes this week -- no book reviews, DVD reviews or anything. Probably.
So the PPV Posse was disbanded this weekend for various reasons, and I ended up being the lone person watching Backlash. I felt like such a loser, but $12 in the theater vs. $30 on PPV seemed like a no-brainer to me. Plus I really wanted to see this show.
Carlito vs. Chris Masters
I think Carlito is going to be pushed into bigger and better things, and this is just the start of it. He didn't put on a spectacular performance, but definitely a few creative spots that actually reminded me of Chris Jericho (damn, do we need him back right about now). And Masters put on a better performance than normal, albeit still pretty awful.
Ric Flair vs. Umaga
I guess, if they're going to make Umaga seem like a major threat, this is the way you do it. Still, it is a bit sad to see it come at Ric Flair's expense. Surely they could have done the same thing with a Heat superstar (Goldust, Viscera, Eugene, SHNITSKY!!!, etc.)
Trish Stratus vs. Mickey James
Another tremendous match in their series, and I didn't even realize that Trish was legit injured (it just seemed like part of the storyline to me). My first (of many) wrong predictions of the night when Trish got the DQ win.
Rob Van Dam vs. Shelton Benjamin
Started off a little slow, but really got cooking in the final five minutes or so. I wouldn't mind seeing a prolonged version of this feud down the road -- RVD/Benjamin could be the new RVD/Lynn in terms of an ongoing competitive rivalry.
Big Show vs. Kane
Dumb. Even by standards of a match involving Big Show and Kane.
Shawn Michaels and The G-Man vs. Vince and Shane McMahon
Enjoyable, and The Spirit Squad spots were great. I'm a little surprised that they went in the direction they did, given Michaels' religious beliefs, but perhaps HBK just wants to get out of his contract already and is prepared to do whatever Vinnie Mac wants. And hey, did anyone else notice: God never ONCE held the tag rope. Geez! You'd figure if anyone out there would be a stickler for rules....
John Cena vs. Triple H vs. Edge
Damn, I was REALLY hoping for a Triple H win here. It felt like the right time for it, plus His Gameness was putting on a tremendous performance there. LOVED the spot where HHH and Cena kept bashing Edge's head into the table. I guess they just want to keep this "most controversial champion ever" theme going for a while with Cena, thus no title switch. I mean, yes I was disappointed with the end result, but the match was quite good, so little reason to complain.
Overall, a better than normal PPV, as Backlash generally tends to be.