Latest ITR

Bank on It

Thinking about waiting until Friday night for the OO Staff's Team Coverage WM21 Preview? Actually, that ain't a bad idea: we WILL be covering all the bases! Well: most of them, anyway. As only he can, our intrepid investigative reporter, the Canadian Bulldog, has unearthed a few heretofore unknown aspects of the WM21 line-up, and wants to fill you in. Consider it the necessary companion piece to our less-carefully-researched preview that'll come this weekend! For an EXCLUSIVE~! look at things such as exploitable weaknesses of some superstars, newly identified strengths of others, and a startling increase in facial hair among wrestlers, check out Inside the Ropes.

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Questions about "the book"

BecauseI've received a few questions in the ol' inbox since last week, thought here would be as good a place as any to provide some answers about my upcoming book. I've rephrased some of the questions slightly for clarity:

- Will it be available on Amazon.com?
Probably not. This is being self-published by orders through a website, so it will be available only through that site. At least initially.

- What's the book called?
Not sure yet. Tentatively just "Canadian Bulldog's Letters", though I'm open to suggestions for sure. I can't use "Letters From A Nut" for obvious reasons.

- When will it be out?
I'm hoping before June; that's my goal.

- Is this just a bunch of your old columns? (okay, it was written a little nicer than that, but let's just cut to the chase)
No, not at all. It's all of the letters that have been published in the column since July, and then probably an equal amount of letters that haven't. Plus, I've got a special, LFAN-related feature planned that never ended up making it into the column, and one other BIG surprise that will hopefully work out quite nicely.

So yeah, I'm excited about this little project. I'll have more updates as they happen...

Arrested Development Line Of The Night

"BOO-YA!"

Although the reappearance of the emergency room doctor (and his replacement) were very well done as well. They continue to make the most of their guest stars, unlike the Simpsons, who will virtually trot anyone out there these days, with both Ben Stiller and (ironically) Dan Castanella.

And of course, GOB losing his fingers at the hands of Buster was a nice twist as the show continues to play up its flair for great continuity. The George Michael "Star Wars" tape as well...

Book Review - "Bobby The Brain: Wrestling's Bad Boy Tells All"

I don't know what took me so long to buy this book. I guess, skimming it over in bookstores the past two years or so, I thought it sounded okay but certainly not tremendous. It finally came down to the fact that my Indigo (basically the only chain bookstore left in Canada) card was expiring next month and I needed to use it quickly to get my 10 % discount. A very Heenan-esque cheapskate manuever ("I left my wallet in my other pair of pants"), if I do say so myself. But how foolish I was to select Jimmy Hart's piece-of-crap book over this one; it's easily ten times more logical, well-written and most of all, funnier.

There's a natural inclination to compare the two books because they were both managers during wrestling's golden era who are no longer in the business on a day-to-day basis. But let me reiterate: there is no comparison between these two. Much like in his wrestling career: Heenan is gold.

What distinguises this from the dozen-plus wrestling bios I've read? Quite honestly, Heenan (and his writer, former PWI guy Steve Anderson) sticks to the facts. He doesn't make up b.s. about how ratings shot up and attendance surged whenever he was on the card. He doesn't take credit for keeping the WWF afloat. And he certainly doesn't knock everyone from his past, although he certainly could have. In fact, this may be the most modest of all the wrestling biographies out there: Heenan is humble, and you have to admire him for that. Especially when you consider the character he plays on television -- one who is decidedly NOT humble.

I also like that the book is well-organized. Unlike Hart's or Piper's, he doesn't jump all over the place with dates and other concepts. Sure, some of it is presented out of chronological order, but it serves a purpose. Also worth mentioning -- some of the road stories are funny as hell.

I'd probably rank this behind maybe the autobios of Foley, Flair, Dynamite Kid and Lawler -- but that still puts him far ahead of numerous others. I certainly want to seek out his "Chair Shots" sequel book now, whenever I see it on sale in Canada.

Once I finished reading the book today (and at 160-odd pages, it is a short read), I had to view his speech again from last year's WWE Hall of Fame DVD. He was priceless; even though the guy clearly had lots of trouble speaking, he had the entire audience in stitches for a good 20 plus minutes. Another video I'd highly recommend by the way...

In conclusion, this is one of those books I'd definitely recommend picking up.

Plug Alert

This was sent in by Alex Hutchinson:

The book is called 'Backyard Empire' it is a true story about an extreme fed that went too far. You may have read about it in the newspapers or on the Internet. If you have a sense of humor about backyard wrestling, this story will keep you rolling.

Here is the link;

http://www.iuniverse.com/bookstore/book_detail.asp?&isbn=0-595-33937-9

Latest ITR - Letters From A Nut VI!!!

What would Jesus do?

The Canadian Bulldog has topped himself. In what stands to be the final (OO) edition of his heralded Letters From a Nut series, Bulldog has mail-bombed any wrestler foolish enough to maintain a public e-mail address, and gotten himself into some downright hilarious messes. Bulldog's got WWE's Jesus H. Kidneypuncher signed, sealed, and delivered to wrestle on his OWN benefit show. And then Bulldog had to go and break Jesus' heart... it's a touching tale that I shan't spoil here. But you can get the full Bulldog/Jesus correspondence, plus a bunch of other cool exchanges with Bulldog's most star-studded list of marks yet (including THREE WWE Hall of Famers!) in a must-read new edition of Inside the Ropes.

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New Merchandise Alert

Best Shirt Ever.

EVER!!!

This just in: Batista A Canadian Bulldog Fan!!!

This from Tarheel Mike, who as I posted last night, was kind enough to bring a "BANK ON IT!!!" sign to the Raw taping last night:

Coolest part of it all was after the show we of course got treated to a dark HHH/Edge vs. Batista/HBK match. Faces win and they pose to the crowd after the show. Well, Batista gets on the second rope and his posing to the crowd in our direction. There's a guy two rows in front of me with a replica World Title belt, and Batista points at it and does the generic title motion to his waist. So I hold up "Bank On It" and he points at MY sign and nods and mouths "Bank On It," while still doing the title pose. Cool as hell.

Thanks for the compliment, Big Dave!!! (Oh, and THM too.)

Sign! Sign! BAH GAWD, SIGN!!!

Yes, that was a "BANK ON IT!!!" sign you may have seen on tonight's Raw from Birmingham, Alabama. Thanks to OO regular and good friend Tarheel Mike for that one. If anyone has screen caps, I would LOVE to get my hands on it....

Thanks, Mike!

Arrested Development Line Of The Night

"What did you expect, mother? I'm half-man, half-machine now!"

Hard to decide, though, between the Mrs. Doubtfire parody, the election videos and the revelation of Steve Holt's real father. I will so seriously pissed when this show gets cancelled.

Bonus "Line Of The Night" from tonight's Simpsons:

"You mean spider poison is people poison too?"

Good Advice

Passed on to me by OO's TarheelMike

Don't try to argue with stupid people. They will drag you down to their level, and then beat you with their experience.

Latest ITR

Book Report

Even as noted author Mick Foley takes a break from writing to be the SUBJECT of a brand-new book, WWE's own list of official publications continues to grow. To help keep you abreast of the plethora of Fed-sanctioned tomes, the Canadian Bulldog has read them all, and prepared a report on the very best ones (including Mick's own autobiography). The Hardy Boyz are also in there, so is Lita, and my my, Edge makes the list, too. I wonder what kinds of juicy dish might be included in those books? There's an easy way to find out: just check out Bulldog's very latest edition of Inside the Ropes.

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Top 20 WrestleMania matches

Got this idea while reading the wrestling blog and thought it might be fun to list my favorite 20 WM matches (effectively one match per WrestleMania, though I'll take more than one from each event).

I'm just basing this on my own personal memories and preferences, nothing more scientific than that. Would love your feedback and comments to this list. It's an interesting bar topic, for sure:

1. Ricky The Dragon Steamboat vs Randy Macho Man Savage (WM3)
2. Chris Benoit vs Shawn Michaels vs Triple H (WM20)
3. Edge & Christian vs Hardy Boyz vs Dudley Boyz (WM17)
4. Hulk Hogan vs Ultimate Warrior (WM6)
5. Bret Hitman Hart vs Owen Hart (WM10)
6. Bret Hitman Hart vs Rowdy Roddy Piper (WM8)
7. Hulk Hogan vs The Rock (WM18)
8. British Bulldogs vs The Dream Team (WM2)
9. Rowdy Roddy Piper vs Adorable Adrian Adonis (WM3)
10. Bret Hitman Hart vs Stone Cold Steve Austin (WM13)
11. Shawn Michaels vs Chris Jericho (WM19)
12. Hulk Hogan vs King Kong Bundy (WM2)
13. Chris Jericho vs Chris Benoit vs Kurt Angle (WM16)
14. Ric Flair vs The Undertaker (WM18)
15. Edge & Christian vs Hardy Boyz vs Dudley Boyz (WM16)
16. Ultimate Warrior vs Randy Savage (WM7)
17. X-Pac vs Shane McMahon (WM15)
18. The Rock and Mick Foley vs Evolution (WM20)
19. Vince McMahon vs Shane McMahon (WM17)
20. The Undertaker vs Triple H (WM17)

Honorable mention: Austin-Michaels (WM14), Austin-Rock (WM17), Beefcake-Perfect (WM6), Bulldogs and Tito Santana-Hart Foundation and Danny Davis (WM3), Flair-Savage (WM8), Hardcore Invitational (WM16), Gimmick Battle Royal (WM17), Hogan-McMahon (WM19), Michaels-Hart (WM11), Jericho-Christian (WM20), Roberts-Honky Tonk Man (WM3), Steele-Savage (WM2) and probably a ZILLION more I can't think of right now.

For those keeping score at home...

We are just nine days away until...

LETTERS FROM A NUT VI: THE ULTIMATE CHALLENGE!!!

...and the world will never, eeeeeeever, be the same... again!

More Search Engine Fun

Once again, here are some of the more unusual search engine queries that brought, YOU, the gentle reader, to this blog over the past two weeks, courtesy of the folks at extreme tracking:

"Gene Snitsky Birthday"
Happy b-day, Gene. What do you mean it's not your fault? Though, around these parts, we refer to him as SHNITSKY!!!, thank you very much.

"Ron Simmons Arrested"
No idea how that led someone here...

"Bikini Contest CNBC"
Uh... same thing... no idea....

"Steiner Defeats Batista"
In his dreams, maybe. Unless you're referring to RICK Steiner....

"Bulldog Gym Canada"
Well let me tell you somethin', brother. I've been hangin' and bangin' at Bulldog's Gym, brother!

"Why Was Grandmaster Sexay Fired From WWE in 2004"
I'll take 'What Is, Because He Still Sucks?' for $400, Alex.

"Ed Leslie Brutus Beefcake Rumors"
I can now confirm the rumors that they are actually the same person.


Hmmm... I can't recall anything like

Letters TO a Nut

Just a couple of things that have creeped into my inbox over the last week or so:


Q: Why doesn't "Hal Kogan" have feet in any of your pictures?
A: Isn't it obvious? Don't you remember when he gave his lucky boots to Ivad Sullivan in WCW?

Q: I have just read your latest comment and feel that if Roddy Piper was to read it he would probably track you down and kick your arse. Glasgow is in Scotland, not England. Actually stating something like that could get you stabbed in the UK. Please check your info in future. Its like me saying Washington is the best province in Canada. Or more appropriately that Toronto is an American dive.
A: Oooh, like I'm really scared of Rod Roddy Piper. Oh, and by the way, you're wrong.

Q: Glad you liked it. I found another gem today, at least I thought it was funny. It's from a Chris Benoit interview on Silvervison.
http://www.silvervision.co.uk/​viewindex.asp?​article_id=benoitiv

How do you feel about your DVD being one of the best selling wrestling DVDs of all time?
Benoit: Thank you for the compliment first of all.

See, he's stealing your catchphrase. I suppose the guy who asked the question did say it was a great dvd or something, but that was obviously edited out, so now Benoits reply looks like something from an ITR column.
A: First, the bastard steals my Crossface... and now this!

Q: When is the next Letters From A Nut coming out?
A: Only thirteen days until...

LETTERS FROM A NUT VI: THE ULTIMATE CHALLENGE!!!

Latest ITR

Hulkamania Forever!

Hulkamania turned 21 back in January... that's right: the mightiest force in the wrestling universe is now of drinking age! To celebrate this milestone, we know that in honor of Hulk Hogan's more than 2 decades of dominance, he'll be inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame in April. One can only assume that Hulk-a-Mania will be drunk off its ass the entire ceremony, and might not remember a whole lot. So as a service to Hulkamania, and perhaps of interest to all you stark, raving Hulkamaniacs out there, the Canadian Bulldog has prepared a detailed Hulk Hogan career retrospective. No need to forget key Hogan milestones or be ignorant of the Hulkster's many accomplishments if you just check out Inside the Ropes.

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Professor Bulldog

This morning, I had the pleasure of being a guest speaker at my little boy's school. I have to say, I had a blast.

There were about a dozen kids who wanted to learn about journalism (and yet they turned to ME for advice. Ha!) and I basically told them a bit about what I did, how I got there (left out sleeping my way to the top) and walked them through a newspaper-type activity. These kids were between the ages of 8 and 10, so it was hard for me to remember I had to speak to their age group. But once I got that out of the way, everything was cool.

Afterwards came the Q & A portion. They asked me a bunch of fairly basic questions and one was "have you interviewed anyone famous?". Now, from the perspective of Canadian newsmakers, I definitely have. But someone these kids would know? Hmmm, that was a struggle... I thought back to my days where I covered more than business, but even then I was trying to think of someone 'famous'. Finally, I came up with "Elvis Stojko and.... The Undertaker" (whom I really did get the chance to speak with, albeit probably six or seven years ago now). At least that last one got a reaction. I reached them!

Anyways, a fun experience, for sure.

Ladder Match at Mania

MUCH LOVE to anyone who "accidentally" refers to the Money In The Bank Ladder Match at WrestleMania 21 to the BANK ON IT!!! Ladder Match. Preferably in some sort of public forum.

I would have used the joke in my column this week, but it's been written for a while now, and would be decidedly off-topic.

The Stone Movement in Toronto

Though I'd pass this cheap plug along:

After spending 2 months in vegas recording with The Brothers Rise, Stu Stone and the guys return to Toronto to unveil their works LIVE on stage for the first time in 2005! MARCH 8th Stu Stone takes the stage at The Legendary "Reverb" in Toronto, Canada for THE VERY FIRST TIME EVER!! For info and guest list email Simonpheonix@hotmail.com

So there ya go. Click here for more details....

Forget the countdown to WrestleMania....

... because we are only NINETEEN days away from....

LETTERS FROM A NUT VI: THE ULTIMATE CHALLENGE!!!

And in my humble opinion, this one will live up to the hype.

It was a JOKE, people!!!

Please don't get me wrong -- I enjoy getting feedback on my columns, both positive and negative. But just to clarify something I've received, oh, a dozen emails on since yesterday's ITR...

I WAS KIDDING!!! THE WHOLE COLUMN WAS A JOKE!!! WHEN I CALLED EVERY LAST ONE OF THE 2005 HALL OF FAMERS 'GAY', IT WAS A RUNNING GAG.

Look, I can appreciate this may be a sensitive subject. I never set out to offend anyone. Honestly, I'm reading it again now and I can't see how people could take that stuff seriously. For the record, I don't know about the sexual orientation of any of those wrestlers and to be honest, it really doesn't matter to me. I have sent all of you who e-mailed me a copy of my ITR archives, and you can clearly see the kind of sophomoric humor at play there. This week's is no different than any other one.

So again, I do apologize if I offended anyone, but please understand it was JUST a joke.

Latest ITR

Know Your Legends

Today's wrestling fans know all about Randy Orton. But did you know that before Randy became the "Legend Killer," his father was a bona fide legend in his own right? In fact, Cowboy Bob Orton is being inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame later this year. So what better time to familiarize yourself with his career acheivements? Orton (pictured at left) may never have won any major titles, but he was perhaps the greatest bodyguard of all times, and is also well known in orthopedic circles for having the slowest healing broken arm in the history of medical science. Get the real dirt on Orton and the entire Hall of Fame Class of 2005 from the always-accurate Canadian Bulldog in his latest Inside the Ropes.

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ITR (The W)

Halifax

So I returned from Halifax last night to a whole bunch more snow in Toronto. But I did certainly enjoy my time in the Maritimes (I had been once a couple of years ago, but that was for less than 48 hours).

Among the highlights: the new Casino Nova Scotia there was fun, although a bit on the small side; the world-famous Liquor Dome (four or five bars under one roof) has to be seen to be believed. Caught some good tunes at a place called Stage 9 and got to hang out with a fellow OO-ster at a nice little pub called Maxwell's Plum.

Although there wasn't tons of nightlife (that I saw, anyways) around this time of year, it was still quite a bit of fun. I would definitely go back again, though preferably in the summertime.

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