New Swag

It's been a while since I've tinkered with the ol' BulldogZone merchandising center. Mostly improvments on earlier designs, but here ya go:

Bulldog Still Rules T-Shirt (Now in the more-appropriate yellow)
ItR Ringer Tee (Much better design)
SHNITSKY!!! Shirt (For the SHNITSKY lover in your family)
BANK ON IT!!! Pillow

Predicting WrestleMania

Now that some of the main questions have been answered, going to try to guess what the lineup for Mania will be. Not that a lot of these are stretches, but I've been doing this for three years now with some decent accuracy, so why not?

World Title Match
Batista Vs. Triple H Vs. Randy Orton
(Special Guest Referee: Stone Cold Steve Austin)

WWE Title Match
John Cena Vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Shawn Michaels Vs. Kurt Angle

The Undertaker and Kane Vs. Gene Snitsky and Heidenreich

Intercontinental Title Match
Shelton Benjamin Vs. Edge

Rey Mysterio Vs. Eddie Guerrero (alternate would be Booker-Eddie, though I'm thinking No Way Out for that one)

World Tag Team Title Match
Chris Jericho & Chris Benoit Vs. La Resistance

WWE Tag Team Title Match
The Dudley Boyz Vs. Basham Brothers (or perhaps some sort of four corners match there)

U.S. Title Battle Royal (Thinking Cena will be stripped of the title for some reason)
Big Show, Carlito Caribbean Cool, Booker T, Orlando Jordan, Luther Reigns, Mark Jindrak, Rene Dupree, Funaki, Kenzo Suzuki, Paul London, Billy Kidman, Hardcore Holly, Daniel Puder, Several Others.

Women's Title Match
Trish Stratus Vs. Christy???

The only major names I can see left out with that would be guys like Christian and Mohammad Hassan. Anyways, let me know what you think....

Royal Rumble Thoughts

Edge vs Shawn Michaels

Even with the cheap victory, this was the kind of match Edge needed to get ahead. Michaels sold like a pro, and more importantly, Edge looked intelligent in there. I don't know where this puts Edge now for Mania -- perhaps a face version of Christian?

The Undertaker vs Heidenreich

Ugh. At least they kept it short, I guess. But Taker was just hideous in there, blowing several spots. Don't even put the blame on Heidenreich for this. It's just time for Taker to retire already. The Kane-SHNITSKY stuff everyone saw a mile away, so there's no point in acting shocked. Live Audio Wrestling's Dan Lovranski put it best tonight when he said "At least this puts these four in the same match at WrestleMania, instead of screwing up other people's matches."

JBL vs Kurt Angle vs Big Show

Not as bad as it could have been, this one was kept brief as well. Bradshaw actually looked decent in there, especially with the final clothesline on Angle.

Triple H vs Randy Orton

ORTON, ORTON, BAH GAWD ORTON looked goofy in there by the end -- moreso than normal. Perhaps this will end once and for all the notion that this guy should be main-eventing ANYTHING, though I suspect I'm wrong. It wasn't a terrible match or anything, but I do think it went on a bit long....

I should also point out somewhere here that ALL of the backstage vignettes were just top-notch. Flair and Guerrero, Christian and Cena, Evolution, the Eugene WrestleMania promo. Well done!

Royal Rumble

So much to say here. I picked Guerrero and Benoit to start (well, just before the PPV started) and was not let down. Paul London took the bump of the night, and if that doesn't give him some more attention, I don't know what will. Bischoff and Long coming down to ringside was a nice, understated touch. The Hassan spot was really the only one that rubbed me the wrong way. I understand he is a hated heel, but by having faces and heels from opposing brands gang up on him is just WRONG. If he was playing a terrorist character, fine, but he's not. I can't tell you how much that bugged me. Mysterio was probably the standout of the night, making terrific mini-matches with everyone in the bout. Edge was great too. I wasn't thrilled with the Batista-Cena finish (although McMahon injuring himself on his way to the ring was priceless), because I had predicted Cena winning, and honestly, I think Cena needed the win more here. But that said, it was a terrific match with very little to complain about.

Overall, a tremendous event that, once again, lived up to his hype.

Giving the devil his due

Okay, I'll admit it: I read Hyatte's column. Often. I don't agree with every last thing he says, but whatever, there's usually some funny stuff there. This week's one had me busting a gut. It was a section of questions to ask unemployed/past-their-prime wrestlers at the Wrestle Reunion thing this weekend. Here are some of the highlights, in my opinion:

To Mick Foley
-Wasn't "Tietam Brown" supposed to finally free you from this bullshit?
-Have you ever actually measured your ass?
-The fuck are you doing putting over Samoa Joe?
-Why don't you stop being coy and agree to wrestle Flair at Mania.
-Doesn't it feel good to not have your livelihood controlled by Vince?
-Was it worth it, Mick?
-Why did you name your kid "Dewey" and not "Huey"? Or "Looey"?
-Who the hell buys those dumb children's books?
-Would it kill you to say something not so nice about SOMEONE for once?
-Is there anyone you WON'T put over, for crying out loud?

to Magnum T.A.
-Hasn't this injury angle gone on long enough?
-I'll give you $20 if you do 5 jumping jacks.
-Who are you, now?
-Have you been able to have sex since you're car wreck?
-I have Tom Selleck on the phone, he says it's time to drop the "Magnum" part of your name.

To Roddy Piper
-Ever hear of Clinique?
-What's your problem?
-Explain how Tim Brooks can manhandle your penis in order to yank out a growth and have it NOT be gay?
-What happened to "They Live 2"?
-What happened to you?
-Will you be as timely and as cutting edge as ever by cutting a promo where you compare Vince McMahon to Dan Quayle?
-Explain exactly how you are "Rowdy"?
-Does the expression, "It's Over" mean anything to you?

The Masked Superstar
-Oh for... take off that fucking MASK!!!
-How do we know you're you? You're under a mask?
-Isn't "Masked Superstar" an oxymoron?
-Do you wear the mask when you're selling cars?
-Is "The Unknown Comic" your hero?

Latest ITR

Back... to the Future!

Kids, don't bother tuning in to the Royal Rumble PPV on Sunday. Because we've got all the results for you here, three days early! That's right: the communiqués from the future are back again this year, and the Canadian Bulldog has got all the details about Sunday's show already. And nice guy that he is, he's gonna share with us. It sure sounds like a Jim Dandy of a Barnburner, too. Some of the surprise appearances will shock you. Teddy Long's alteration of the WWE Title Match will warp your fragile little mind. And who ends up winning the Rumble itself? Let's just say you'll have to read it to believe it. So just read it already in Inside the Ropes!

Inside The Ropes (Online Onslaught)
Inside The Ropes (The W)

UPN to drop SmackDown

I really think, at the end of the day, this is not going to be the deathknell of WWE a lot of people are (already!) making it out to be.

SmackDown is still a relatively high rated show, despite UPN's decision to change its formatting. There are a lot of network (maybe not broadcast channels) that would kill to get the prime time ratings that SD gets on a bad week. So they'll find a home, I'm sure.

This is not like ECW with TNN. As much as SmackDown has generally sucked for the past 18 months or so, it still has a big enough fanbase to keep it marketable. Anyways, that's my early take on the situation.

Awesome Kane Promo

Courtesy of Eli at the OO Forums... check this out. I guarantee it will make you at least chuckle, if not laugh out loud. I haven't heard that promo in a couple of years now...

Movie Review - Ocean's Twelve

Continuing on in our series of "Movies Everyone Else In The Free World Has Seen Before Bulldog"....

I found this one to be fun -- a lot of fun. Which is really all you can ask from one of these Italian Job-type movies. There's a suspension of disbelief, for sure, but never so much that you can't actually just sit there and enjoy the film.

I was certainly a fan of the first one, and what's not to love? Cool technology, an interesting premise, and a fairly talented cast that doesn't take itself too seriously. I'm happy to report that the sequel was 'more of the same', but definitely in a good way.

George Clooney and Matt Damon, in particular, have their roles down to a T, are believable and enjoyable in this story. The rest of the cast don't disappoint, either, although the film could have certainly used some more Bernie Mac. And of course, there's one scene (which I won't spoil), but when you see it, you'll know exactly which one I'm talking about) that's a tremendous tongue-in-cheek surprise. I just didn't see it coming at all.

The swerve at the end was expected, to be sure (not the swerve itself, but the fact that there would BE a swerve), but it at least opens the door for a third film in the series... which wouldn't be bad at all.

Like I said, Ocean's Twelve wasn't a cinematic masterpiece or anything, but it is a lot of fun. I'd definitely recommend it.

Arrested Development Line Of The Night

Barry: You're about 2,000 shares short of being the majority owner of the company. Now because the stock is privately held and not publicly traded, you can't just buy the stock back unless the owners are willing to sell it.

Michael: Are you sure?

Barry: That's what it said on Ask Jeeves.





Have I mentioned how much I love this show?

Johnny Carson

Before the wave of obits in tomorrow's papers hit, thought it would be a good time to weigh in.

Johnny Carson was probably the best all-around entertainer I've ever seen. It's a shame that many people of this generation were never really able to appreciate what he meant to show business (I'm thinking his curtain call has to have been more than ten years ago now). But without him, its doubtful people like David Letterman, Jay Leno, Roseanne and Jerry Seinfeld would have enjoyed most of the success they had.

What's more; he was always 'on' as a talk-show host and an entertainer. No matter what the circumstances, or the reacion of the crowd, he managed to turn it into a positive. And give him a ton of credit, he knew when his time had come to step away from the spotlight and did so gracefully.

It's odd, because there was a story circulating last week that he had recently written some of Letterman's monologue jokes. It got me thinking about how good it would be to see him in the spotlight again, but sadly that was never meant to be.

Anyways, thanks for the years and years of laughs, Johnny.

More Tracking Fun

Some further....er, interesting, searches that somehow ended up connected to this blog:

1) "ted arcidi" wife (hey, ladies, he's single!)
2) wwf demolition bio (Ax and Smash were born on...)
3) expensive canadian made shoes (They must be expensive. They're Canadian!)
4) collateral Bulldog (Actually, it's "Canadian" Bulldog, but close enough I guess)

I don't know why I find this kind of stuff so funny...

Book Review - The Broker

Just finished John Grisham's newest book The Broker and it definitely ranks right up there with some of his best work.

Without spoiling too much, the story is about Joel Backman, formerly a powerful Washington lawyer who is unexpectedly sprung from the prison by the CIA. From there, Backman is stashed in Italy to keep him away from the numerous international governments that want to kill him. Fascinating stuff, with a fairly satisfying conclusion.

I say 'fairly' because like with most Grisham novels (with the possible exception of The Summons), you can see the ending coming a mile away, with very little in the way of a surprise twist. But that doesn't take away from my overall enjoyment of the story; it was quite well-written.

On the recurring characters front (a Grisham staple), CIA director Teddy Maynard makes what may be his final appearance here. I believe he's appeared in at least The Brethren, and The Pelican Brief (and probably some others). Nice to see him back again.

Anyways, I'd highly recommend this one...

Latest ITR - Letters From A Nut V!!!

Hellllloooo, Ladies....

Well, the Canadian Bulldog can't lie: he likes the women. But apparently, they don't like him back. As part of Bulldog's infamous "Letters From a Nut" series, he sent out e-mails to a ton of wrestling divas, past and present, and pretty much the only responses he got were women asking for his money. Greedy wenches! And hell, most of the women didn't even write back at all, including Tammy "Sunny" Sytch (pictured at left). Then again, considering some of the things Bulldog said to Tammy, maybe you can't blame her. Enjoy all the fun of Bulldog's letters to the ladies and some of their responses back to him in a brand new Inside the Ropes.

Inside The Ropes (Online Onslaught)
Inside The Ropes (The W)

It's Coming.....

This Thursday.....


And there's not anything anyone, not even Vince McMahon, can do to stop it....


Muhuhahahahahahahaha.....

Raw Thoughts

Last night was a blast, although I'm paying for it this morning.

I had to be at work by 5:30 a.m., which meant sleeping in downtown Toronto to get here in time (I live in the 'burbs, and its normally a 90-minute or so commute). Still, even on four or so hours sleep, it was worth it.

We had excellent seats, my usual ones for the ACC. Strangely, they flipped the set from most TV tapings/PPV's, so instead of sitting near JR and The King, we were on the opposite side. Which was much better, especially because we were right near the big Kane-SHNITSKY bump at the end (my brother apparently got some great pix).

Best match by far was Michaels-Christian, though I can't say any were really horrible. HBK was really the only person that Bizarro Land Toronto was opposed to that most crowds wouldn't normally be. Although I did detect a few boos here and there towards Orton, so maybe we've still got it in us.

The dark match afterwards was HHH-Batista-Edge vs Orton-Jericho-Benoit which actually went on too long for a match like that. There were some unusual comedy spots, featuring Edge and HHH wobbling unecessarily a la Greg Valentine/Ric Flair but otherwise the match was pretty unremarkable.

Like I said, definitely worth it. But (yawn) paying for it now.....

Thomas Dolby and The Wireless Ringtones

Worth checking out today's Wall Street Journal (don't believe you can see it for free online, without a subscription) if you're a fan of 80's music like I am. Thomas Dolby, the two-hit wonder who composed "Hyperactive" and "She Blinded Me With Science", has now been reduced to composing pop ringtones for cellphones. He also has a company that creates original music for cellphones, according to the article.

Actually, compared to a lot of 80's pop stars, at least he's employed. Just really interesting to see how big a business ringtones have become. For those wondering, I currently have the following tunes of my phone:

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly theme - main ring
Spider-Man theme (my son's choice; not mine)
Just Can't Get Enough - Depeche Mode
We're Not Gonna Take It - Twisted Sister (not a very good version, obviously)
You Spin Me Round - Dead Or Alive

Anyways, very interesting article....

DVD Review - The Hebrew Hammer

If you haven't heard of this one, you're probably not alone. It's one of those Jewploitation films that... actually, it's probably the only Jewploitation film in existence.

The premise is actually pretty good: Adam Goldberg (possibly best known as Chandler's psychotic roomate from Friends, although he was also in Saving Private Ryan and Dazed and Confused) is a Shaft-like Orthdox Jew fighting the evil "new" Santa Claus (Andy Dick) in a worldwide battle to stop him from ruining Chanukah forever. Yeah, another one of THOSE movies. It also stars SNL's Nora Dunn as the stereotypical Jewish mother and Arrested Development's Judy Greer (Kitty) as the women he loves. This is totally straight-to-video stuff, and I believe it came out a couple of months back.

Believe it or not, I actually made a short film like this some 15 years ago called JewHF (instead of Weird Al Yankovic's UHF) which, alebit was just four people filmed on a Sony Handicam with all the scenes taking place in my basement, ended up using a lot of the same jokes and concepts. I mean, there are only so many Jewish jokes you can make before the whole thing gets tired.

And that's kind of what happens here. There are a handful of cute lines, especially if you're Jewish like me and/or can see the stereotypes in play here, but the movie is not overly funny. It's like one of those 10,000,000 Leslie Nielsen movies that tries to spoof a genre (NOT Naked Gun; but all the other ones) and just ends up giving you a couple of quick chuckles and, for the most part, a lot of groans.

Goldberg is pretty funny as The Hammer (My favorite line, an analogy: "This is your Barmitzvah; I'm just reading part of the Torah"), and the Shaft-like theme song is hilarious. But that's kind of the extent of the brilliance here. The rest is just really lazy humor. In fact, the original short feature that appears on this DVD is perhaps funnier than the entire 90-minute-or-so film, because it accomplishes everything it needs to without overstaying its welcome.

Going to recommend skipping this one, folks, unless you're really into Latke humor.

Latest ITR

The Truth About ECW

OK, Captain Smartypants, you got the "Rise and Fall of ECW" on DVD, and now you think you know the whole story, don't you? Well, you've never been more wrong. You just know what WWE *wants* you to know, but the truth about ECW, it's... it's... well, it's certainly more Fully Illustrated than you might have thought. Here at OO, we're all about getting past WWE's smoke screens and bringing you the real dirt, and today's no exception. Our intrepid investigator, the Canadian Bulldog, has studied long and hard and poured over his own archives and plenty of other sources to bring you the True History of ECW in his very latest, hand-crafted edition of Inside the Ropes.

Inside The Ropes (Online Onslaught)
Inside The Ropes (The W)

Pretty courageous stuff

Gumgod's Derek Burgan deserves a world of credit for recapping the One Night In China DVD on his website. His review, which is hilarious as always, shows me that he'll go to any (yeugggh) depths for his loyal readers....

Useless Link of the Day

Although... this game seems strangely appropriate for us Canadians these days...

Useless (and possibly offensive) Link of the Day

Geriatric Skeet Shooting

Arrested Development (Season One DVD)

Just so I'm not the very last person on earth to jump on this particular bandwagon...

Arrested Development really IS the funniest show on television! It's hard to argue with the hype, for once. I barely caught the show in its first season (despite it being in the ideal time slot for a Simpsons fan like me) and only gave it any serious viewing at the beginning of season two.

Now that I have watched the entire first season on DVD, I am completely sold. Where to begin? Jason Bateman is just perfect as the straight man to his insane family. I remember walking out of the movie Dodgeball last summer thinking how funny Bateman was (not someone I'd normally think of as a great comedic talent). Will Arnett as G.O.B. is probably my favorite character, especially with his magic act (they should play the Europe song "Final Countdown" at least once an episode). David Cross as Tobias is just laugh out loud funny, even when he doesn't say a word; I don't know how he does it.

I could go on and on running down the entire cast, but I won't. Actually, I will also add that Henry Winkler as the family lawyer is perhaps the best recurring character on a comedy show EVER (he just allows the character to be a parody of himself, which is played to perfection. I thought I'd pass out laughing when Winkler checked himself out in the mirror during the "Altar Egos" episode.) Ayyyy!

Anyways, if you haven't seen even part of Season One yet, I would highly, highly, highly recommend going out and getting this DVD. It puts season two, and really the whole phenomenom, in terrific perspective.

(Correction: I meant Europe, not Journey. My apologies.)

New John Grisham Novel

Just noticed that a new book called "The Broker" has come out in hardcover.

Because we Canadians are typically 18 months behind the rest of the free world, has anyone out there in BullBLOG land read this, or at least heard anything decent about it? I'm very excited for this one (even though I hadn't heard a thing about it until today)?

Useless Link of the Day

Star Wars: The Gangsta Rap Edition

New Year's Revolution Thoughts

It was all about bad timing tonight, including the fact that my brother and I arrived late at the theater tonight (thinking, who the hell would pay to watch this crap besides us?) and found ourselves with some pretty bad options for seating.

Eugene/Regal Vs. Tomko/Christian
My bad timing continued, as I missed almost all of this match while trying to go get snacks, including the debut of the Hulksteresque T-Shirt. You could tell right away when Eugene landed something was wrong, and the half-hearted pinfall from there proved my point. Not a horrible match or anything (for the three minutes of it I saw).

Lita Vs. Trish
Talk about bad timing.... Right after JR says that Lita isn't going to do suicide dives anymore, she makes up a new variation. And again, you could tell right away something was amiss and another quick finish. Must be something in the air....

Shelton Benjamin Vs. Maven
Can't complain about what happened here. By showing off the stalling/mic work/heelishness of Maven, you've given me a reason to care about this little feud. Even if we don't end up seeing an actual match here. Still, nice storyline beginning.

Jerry Lawler Vs. Mohammad Hassan
Absolutely horrible. Nothing against Hassan; he is tremendous on the stick and even took a few decent bumps. But Lawler is simply too old to be wrestling a modern-style WWE match, and the fact that they abandoned the commentary table (for what reason?) during this didn't help at all. On the plus side, Daivari is shaping up to be the next Ric Flair, manager-wise. He was great.

Kane Vs. SHNITSKY
This was the worst one of the night. Don't get me wrong; I wasn't expecting a match for the ages here, just wish they could have clicked a bit better given their past. Coach was right in saying Kane was rusty, too; although his line saying as much was just plain stupid. Either way, this match sucked, and it's NOT MY FAULT!!!

Elimination Chamber
Possibly the best all-around Chamber match of the three so far, which is no small feat. Jericho, in particular, worked his ass off and perhaps even outshined Benoit (though The Crippler's chops were really ON tonight). Triple H bumped and sold like crazy, which should but probably won't shut some people up. Batista was just about perfect in his role as the caged animal. Edge did almost entirely what I expected, but looked pretty good doing it. And Orton... well, whatever, he lost, that's all that really counts, right?

I DID expect Michaels to be more of a factor, in particular aiding HHH at some stage. Regardless, the decision to give The Game his title back was a sound one, and can still work towards an Orton-Batista-HHH match at Mania if that's where they want to go.


Overall, this was just a one-match show anyways, so on that front, they delivered as promised. But the bad timing in the opening two matches left them with FAR too much time to kill, and it really showed this time around.

Hey, whaddya know? I went 6 for 6 in my predictions; at least that worked out.

New Tracking Device

Thanks to everyone who sent me suggestions (both here and through email) for a new tracking service. I ending up going with GimmickMan's suggestion of Extreme Tracking, which is actually quite a cool device, especially because it's free.

Not only does it tell you how many people are visiting, but also specific IP addresses, how they came to find you and what type of browser they were using. Pretty cool stuff. My favorite was the geography category -- I would have had no idea that people from Malaysia, Germany and New Zealand were actually wasting time with this silly little blog.

Anyways, thanks again, everyone.


Updated Jan. 10 -- Another cool feature is the search words that bring you to this site. Here are some of the more unusual ones I found:

Bunnysutra
Doug
Fat
Graham
Swatch
Swayze
Dick

Um, if anyone was searching for those items and found my blog instead... sorry?

Latest ITR

OMG NUDITY~!
The Canadian Bulldog is one crafty SOB. And nearly a half-year before the pictorial hits newsstands, he's gotten his hands on the Playboy "Women of the WWE" feature. Will his Humble Webmaster Rick Scherer allow Bulldog to distribute such filth? Read on...

Inside The Ropes (Online Onslaught)
Inside The Ropes (The W)

Useless Link of the Day

Try to figure this one out. I can't....

Hit Counter/Stats

Anyone know where I can pick up a good (and preferably) free hit counter that provides statistics for website visits? I was using freestats.com (and was actually surprised at how many people visit this blog... wow!) but I seem to have trouble logging into it 80 % of the time.

So I'm just looking for something that's easy to throw into a blog template, easy to maintain, and again, free. Any thoughts?

Useless Link of the Day

And the most useless link of 2005 (so far) is.....

This.