The Office Line Of The Night

Ryan: Did this happen on company property?

Michael: It was on company property, with company property. So, double jeopardy. We're fine.

Ryan: I don't think-- I don't think you understand how jeopardy works.

Michael: Oh, I'm sorry. What is, 'we're fine.'




SO nice to get my Dundler-Mifflin fix last night! Not sure if its because of the new roles/relationships, or just because I've been watching my Season 3 DVD religiously, but it just seems like they've tweaked the formula a little. Not to say this necessarily a bad thing -- but I'm reserving judgment for a few more episodes at least. Additional thoughts:

Who knew that Pam and Jim finally hooking up would be so anti-climactic? Then again, was there a better way to pull this off after three seasons of teasing it (that's what she said)?

Other than the nipple tape incident (which, believe it or not, I had heard about in my classes during a short-lived fling with running earlier this year -- it apparently happens quite frequently), there was a disturbing shortage of Andy.

I'd like to see where they go with Dwight and Angela -- interesting twist. LOVE how the cat clawed through packages of frozen french fries.

SWEET bit of continuity bringing back the stripper from Bob Vance's bachelor party as the nurse, and Michael's comment "so you went back and got your degree?" was awesome.

And the brought back the IT guy! Wonder if he's going to be a more permanent part of the cast now?

Michael describing Toby as Satan? Classic.

Happy 2nd Birthday, WWI!

Not to sound TOO self-serving, but I just wanted to wish World Wrestling Insanity a happy second birthday/anniversary/whatever. As someone who's been almost since the start, I have to tip my hat to James Guttman at constantly working on the site and keeping it fresh.

Again, I know this sounds like something of an infomercial, but I check the site daily, and not because I feel obligated to, but because I honestly like the way it's taken shape, and the unique "voice" we now have on the Web.

And while we're playing "Mutual Admiration Society" (tm Gorilla Monsoon), I thought I'd just mention that I was also mentioned in rather glowing terms on WWI's message board today by JG himself:

Of course, I have to point out the Canadian Bulldog too. CB makes me laugh every week whether it's through his column, audio, or email. Like ZAH, I searched him out and was amazed at how funny he was. His style was unlike anything I had read before online and it didn't overdo it like many others. He was a natural and I was really happy when he agreed to join us.

Happy 2nd Birthday!

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Brock Lesnar Goes On Rampage After Gamma Ray Exposure

Movie Review - "Shoot 'Em Up"

And the award for the least-realistic film EVER goes to....

Seriously, I can't recall a less-plausible movie in my 34 years of moviegoing (well, I probably didn't see that many flicks as an infant, but work with me here). I mean, Star Wars looked like a documentary in comparison. Jean Claude Van-Damme watched this and said "Dude, that's just not possible."

(Spoiler alert ahead)



For the uninitiated, Clive Owen plays a badass dude named Smith, who just happens to be sitting on a street corner late at night, eating a carrot ("What's up, doc?") when a pregnant woman comes running by and is being gunned down by terrorists. Not only does Smith fend off, like, 1,000 hitmen without breaking a sweat, but he also manages to deliver the baby while firing a gun with perfect precision.

Still firing away, Smith manages to save the baby from impending doom and the worst's slimiest criminal mastermind (Paul Giamatti), hook up with a lactating hooker, shoot people while sliding under tables, figure out an international scandal, shoot people while fucking the hooker, make contact with an enviable list of government and media sources, shoot people using only a carrot, spank a mother in public, shoot people after diving off a plane, without, I should add, a parachute, break into a gun factory (because I imagine their security is pretty lax) and -- oh yes, kill a man using his disfigured hand, four bullets and a fireplace. Yeah....

If you can really, really, REALLY suspend disbelief for 90 minutes or so, this isn't that bad. Paricularly if you like shooting. But I couldn't get past that. I must have said "REALLY?" in a Stan-from-South-Park-type-way AT LEAST 50 times during the course of the film, and that was in between biting my lip or shaking my head in frustration.

That said... you almost HAVE to see it, just because it's that hilarious in a trainwreck kind of way.

Family Guy Star Wars Episode

I'm not generally a huge Family Guy fan... I mean, I'll watch it if it's on, but won't go out of my way to see it or anything, as I might with The Simpsons. But this episode was hands down my favorite.

Not only was it amazing from a visual standpoint, but they were quite faithful to "A New Hope" at the same time, sneaking in some SWEET references to Airplane, Asteroid, Doctor Who, Vacation, etc. Everyone played their characters well (I wasn't convinced beforehand that Peter and Chris shouldn't have reversed their roles) and even the cameo appearances (Greedo, the Death Star Trash Bin Monster) were just awesome.

The Simpsons season premiere on the other hand.... big f'ng meh. I was hopeful after the movie that maybe this would give the writers a renewed interest, but doesn't look like that's the case if this episode was any indication. That said, I did enjoy the post-movie introduction at the starting... a nice little bit of continuity there.

In other TV news... only 3 more days til The Office!!!

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WWE Releases "Special Edition" 2004 Rumble DVD

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Strong Bads, Ricky Fighters, Finally Conclude Blood Feud

I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T! I mean, S-M-A-R-T!

Yeah, so I totally called Hornswaggle as the McBastard. (This was after I proclaimed it to be Mick Foley, mind you...) Though, in truth, it was The Big Rybowski's arguments that won me over. I posted my thoughts on the WWI forums early on Monday, and was proud to say it played out pretty much as I'd figured it would.

Look, JG was even kind enough to mention this fact in today's Raw Insanity:

Canadian Bulldog was talking about this today on the Insanity Forum. He brought up the fact that Hornswoggle could be the McBastard and then play the role of Vince's Mini-Me. It seemed very plausible, but my concern was that it was much ado about nothing. Why not just have Vinnie get his midget in a box as a gift? It would still give him the mini-me gimmick without losing a potentially good payoff and a chance to elevate a wrestler.

Though one small, niggling little thing: When Stephanie first said that the bastard was a wrestler, didn't she say that it would be somebody around the ring? If so, Hornswaggle wasn't there that night. So I figured they'd say "Oh, he was at ringside alright... UNDER THE RING!" Would have been a nice little bit of continuity.

My pick for the bastard is.....

I've thought quite a bit about this since reading the Raw spoilers on Sunday, and you have to think that whoever this is, this is going to be a big deal. Vince & Co. will have to be able to trust this person to keep their nose clean, so to speak, and they'll have to have something of a track record in carrying the ball.

While Triple H makes a lot of sense on those counts, I don't think it will be him. I'm thinking (and last night reinforced it) that they're eventually going to make public that he and Steph are "still" married, so I'd think that nixes him.

Then I heard the "things are looking up" comment. The natural tendency would be to think of someone tall (Great Khali?) or someone that's in heaven (Eddie?), but I can't come up with any satisfactory candidates on the active roster, at least ones who aren't named "Kennedy".

So how about instead of literally looking up, how about someone who has always "looked up" to Vince McMahon? Looked up to him like a father, perhaps?

Someone like... Mick Foley.

I'm partial to this idea because, other than possibly Rowdy Roddy Piper, Foley is my all-time favorite, but I also think it makes a ton of sense. He's still on the Raw roster (at least according to wwe's own website and the show's opening sequence), he can further the storyline in some really creative ways, and WWE can count on the guy not to screw up. Plus, it eventually furthers the idea of a Foley-Cena feud, which Foley hinted at in his latest book.

Best of all, I'm guessing not a lot of people would expect it, which you've got to think is what WWE wants at this point.

So will Mrs. Foley's Baby Boy also be Mr. McMahon's Bastard Child? Thoughts?

"Bulldog Under Attack"

That was the headline I noticed in the "Canadian Bulldog's Pound" section of the World Wrestling Insanity forums Sunday night. This was a post from someone who had heard my audios criticizing certain websites of their reporting in the Benoit and drug-related coverage.

My position has been simple: this is not about even debating the facts in this case. I'm not qualified to report on what Benoit may or may not have done to his body, what was "acceptable" versus "unacceptable", and who should be shouldering the blame. While I'm a reporter when I'm not wearing the "Bulldog" hat, I'm not a reporter when I write wrestling parody, and I've never pretended to be anything but.

But there are people who consider themselves wrestling media (one site in particular) and the way they've infused "fact" with "opinion" should be appalling to anyone involved with journalism. People read these websites in search of news, but someone's personal agenda. Again, I'm not saying the wellness program WWE has in place isn't flawed; that's not even my point. As I mentioned in one of my audios, if, say, a prominent news anchor was to talk about the scandal of the day, and then mumble "Yeah, bullshit" under his or her breath, it would be akin to poor reporting and conflict of interest. But in the wrestling media, it seems to be a perfectly acceptable practice.

August FitnessBlog

In August, I worked out a total of 19 times. I'm just in it for the math at this point, honest.

In a (hopefully) related development: I've lost 5 pounds since June so, yeah.