Latest ITR

Homecoming Weekend

When Mick Foley, Hulk Hogan, Steve Austin, Roddy Piper, and others show up at Monday's RAW to celebrate WWE's USA Network Homecoming, many think the show could be filled with unexpected twists and surprises. Well, those people aren't the Canadian Bulldog... because Bulldog -- with his tenuous ties to the WWE Creative Team and his willingness to do things that would make a lesser man squeamish -- has already got the EXCLUSIVE~! scOOp on what'll happen at Homecoming. The opening 20 minutes of the show alone with leave you breathless, as Bulldog reveals in Inside the Ropes.

ITR

Site Updates

Have finally gotten around to updating the ITR archives on my site. Check them out at your leisure -- I still have a few other items to add to the site over the next little while, but at least the columns are up to date now.

Coming tonight: A brand new ITR on Online Onslaught, and Friday MAY be when my Mick Foley multi-DVD review sees the light of day. Stay tuned...

Testimonials

Have added some comments today from people who LOVED/pretended to read/were bribed to put over my book. Check them out!!!

Likewise, if you've read the book (any of the six of you out there) and would like to contribute a comment -- be it positive or negative -- I'd love to add it to the collection.

Five

Wow.

A nostalgic day around the Bulldog household as my little boy turned five today. Well, technically, just a couple of minutes ago, as he was born at 10:08 p.m. on the 24th.

Anyways, I find it unbelievable how much growing up he's done in just five years, how he's turned into such a smart, funny and perceptive little boy, and how lucky I am to have him in my life. A really odd coincidence: five years ago today, I had this persisent, runny nose (lovely, I know) -- and I don't get colds all that often. Then, about two hours ago -- the exact same type of cold. Just in time for 10:08. Weird.

I have no idea why I'm writing this down by the way -- just getting all nostalgic and mushy I suppose. Or it may be the Neo-Citran talking. Or the alcohol.

G'night.

Latest ITR

That 70s Column

The Canadian Bulldog is off on a whirlwind book signing tour this week, and regrets to inform you that he won't be able to complete a fresh column for you. But the Bulldog? He's always ready with one of his older columns for you to enjoy during his off weeks... this week, Bulldog went back even further than usual. He even left his own archives, and pilfered today's offering from his dad, Canadian Bulldog Senior (or, as I liked to call him, "Bulldog Classic"). So for a slice of the hottest, most exclusive wrestling news from 1977 (and even a look at some rare vintage trading cards!), check out Bulldog Classic's Inside the Ropes.

Best Publicity Ever! EVER!!!

Dave Hillhouse at SLAM! Sports was kind enough to write up what I'd like to think is the definitive story of both the book and myself. It appears today on the SLAM! Wrestling site as:

Canadian Bulldog's antics lead to book
Humorist is a Canadian "Jerky Boy" -- without the "Jerk"

Needless to say, I just LOVE this story. I would urge all of you to give it a read and let me know what you think. Click here to read the article.

Programming notes

This week's ITR should be a nice little twist on the same old, same old. Well, at least I got a kick out of writing it; you folks can be the judge this Thursday.

Rumor has it a nice piece of publicity on the book could surface tomorrow. Full details here as they become available.

On a related note, there are still ten days left in my "Cheer Me Up and Win, Win, WIN!" contest. Received a TON of great stuff over the last little while -- and thanks for that -- but I'm thinking there's still room for a DEFINITIVE winner here.

I'll repeat the rules: E-mail me the funniest joke, picture, whatever you can come up with by month-end. Winners gets a brand-spanking-new copy of "Thanks For The Compliment!!!" Enter early and enter often. Winner will be announced early next month.

Arrested Development Season Premiere

Well, I've missed the first two Simpsons episodes this season but I wouldn't have missed this one for the world.

Great stuff, as to be expected. Ron Howard took a more active role than normal as the narrator, and GOB, Michael and Tobias were gold. One question: what the hell happened to Buster? Storyline or not, that just seemed out of place.

And on a related note, sad to see Barry Zuckercorn go (I heard he's being replaced by Scott Baio), what without advance warning and all...

Unforgiven Thoughts

What sounded like a pretty shitty show on paper.... well, ended up pretty shitty. Give them credit for delivering as advertised, I suppose.

Noteworthy for those who have been following my escapades at the local movie theater that shows WWE events: they almost kicked us out this time! For cheering and booing! Even though everyone else does it too! Okay, there's a good story behind it, but one I'm going to have to get into at another time. Still; being almost kicked out, geez.

Flair vs. Carlito

An okay match saved by the fact that they acknowledged Flair hitting a move off the top rope. It was a nice little touch by the announcers, the fans and even Flair. Though it would have been funny had Carlito just slammed him like normal on the second attempt. Other than that one spot, though, nothing special.

Trish/Ashley vs. Victoria/Torrie

What can I say? Trish deserved far better than this in her big return match. Ashley looked like she broke her neck after being thrown through the ropes. Terrible match.

Big Show vs. Snitsky

Why?

Shelton Benjamin vs. Kerwin White

A passable contest that could have benefited by a bit more backstory. At least Shelton won, so I'm not complaining too much. And the White character is really growing on me.

Matt Hardy vs. Edge

Not the strongest cage match in the world, but nothing horrible, either. Does this prove that the bookers weren't out to bury Matt Hardy all along? I don't know, but at least he has some vindication that WWE is investing in this angle. Watch there be a "Winner Gets Lita" match at Taboo Tuesday now.

Hurricane and Rosey vs. Cade and Murdoch
How did THIS end up so high on the card? Predictable, boring and again, some REAL backstory may have helped this one here. I will say, though, when Hurricane took that DDT from Murdoch and the trainer ran (he didn't walk) down to ringside, it seemed like a legit injury.

Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Masters
I guess I had higher expectations for this one, but this is the problem, I guess, when Masters hasn't really had any big matches yet. Michaels carried him fine, and it wasn't a bad match per se, it just showed me nothing from Masters, which is what I think the match needed here. I still say The Masterpiece lands a job working for HBK at one point down the road.

John Cena vs. Kurt Angle
This just sucked, pure and simple. Cena is capable of better; he showed me that vs Jericho last month. Angle can carry a broomstick to four stars, so the saying goes. So what the hell happened here?

I hate to say it, but this needed more Bischoff in a bad way. A nice screwjob ending to set up for the inevitable Taboo Tuesday rematch. Even if it DIDN'T conclude with Angle winning the belt, it would have a lot more sense. And the ending was beyond lame! Didn't we just see that two months ago at GAB? Well, I guess the problem was, no one DID see that. Ugh..

You know, I may have been better off getting kicked out of the theater.

Oh, look. Edge is stealing my catchphrase YET AGAIN!!!

From wwe.com


"In closing (and since it’s in cyberspace I know you'll read this, Matt), over and over you've repeated your mantra, "I WILL NOT DIE!" That's fine, but I have put your cherished career on life support. So, move on with your life. Move as far away from me as possible because very soon, I will lose whatever patience I have left. And when I do, I'll pull the plug on your wrestling career. Then you can sit at home, not dying, and watch me dominate every week on RAW. Bank on it."


Okay, look Copeland. It's time to have this out. One on one. Mano y mano. As soon as you finishing burying Matt Hardy, I'm gonna be the next one breathing down your neck.

BANK ON THAT, BITCH!!!

Latest ITR

Don't Cross the Boss

The Ultimate Warrior is fixing to learn a very important lesson this autumn: don't expect to have any kind of legacy in the wrestling business unless you can Work And Play Well With Others. WWE is exploring a whole new genre of DVD release with "The Self-Destruction of the Ultimate Warrior." And the hatchet job has got fans talking so much that OF COURSE WWE is thinking about expanding the series. Who might be next to be on the receiving end of a slickly-produced, multi-disc career assassination? The Canadian Bulldog has details on no fewer than five (5) additional DVD releases in this vein! Plus he's got PPV preview notes and other news in the latest Inside the Ropes.

ITR

He's Baaaaaaaaack!

It's been five long months since we've heard from him. Now he's back. And you're not going to BELIEVE what he has to say this time.


Check out Online Onslaught - Thursday

Another year closer to death

Thanks, everyone, for the awesome birthday wishes. And the contest entries so far have been fantastic - keep 'em coming!

The reviews keep pouring in!

Chris Cash at 1wrestling.com was kind enough to review Thanks For The Compliment!!! on the website today. Check it out.

Yes, this is probably the most critical review to date, and that's perfectly fine. His criticisms are justified: the book ISN'T anything fancy; it was never meant to be. And, sure, more interaction with the wrestlers would have certainly been my goal. As it stands, I do think I managed a healthy level of responses, though.

Don't get me wrong: Cash DID have some positive things to say in his review, and its much appreciated. Remember, there's no such thing as bad publicity, as long as they spell your name right (of course, I NEVER spell anyone's name right, but a moot point.)

Latest ITR

Remember When?

It's hard to believe it's been ten years... ten years since Lex Luger was known for something other than crippling chemical dependence, driving under the influence, spending his spare time in Atlanta jail cells, and other deeds best left not mentioned. Because it was 10 years ago this week that Lex Luger was a red hot free agent, and made a shocking appearance on the Debut Edition of WCW Monday Nitro. Everybody thought Nitro was sure to fail; then again, everybody thought Luger was under a WWF Contract at the time. Nitro lived to see 6 and a half years worth of action, and here on its Tenth Anniversary, the Canadian Bulldog recounts the shows most memorable moments in a special Inside the Ropes.

Cheer Me Up and WIN, WIN, WIN!

Okay, folks. An urgent plea for help, with a possible reward at the end of the trail.

The background: I am going through something of a depression right now. Please don't worry, it's nothing serious at this stage. But I will be perfectly candid in saying this is not the greatest period in your friendly neighborhood Bulldog's life. A whole variety of reasons, really, including a pending major life change and the fact that I'm hitting the big 3-2 next week.

So here's what I want - send me the funniest thing you can think of, care of bulldog@onlineonslaught.com. (In other words, don't post as a comment to this entry).

This can be a joke, gag, funny website, picture, whatever. Hopefully, you know my sense of humor by now, at least enough to judge what I would and wouldn't think is funny. Doesn't have to be wrestling-related, either, just HILARIOUS. And a small disclaimer - please keep in mind that I may be opening some of these emails in an office setting, so please nothing that is over-the-top NSFW.

I will judge these over, say, the next month and will declare a winner Oct. 1 or thereabouts.

What's in it for you? Great question. How about a copy of new book "Thanks For The Compliment!!! Canadian Bulldog's Nuttiest Letters Ever! EVER!!!", absolutely free of charge, personally mailed to wherever it is in the world you live?

It's at least a $15 value (guaranteed to triple in the next five years, or maybe not), and judging by preliminary sales, [sarcasm]THERE SURE ARE ENOUGH COPIES LEFT OVER FOR ME TO DO THIS!!![/sarcasm]

So there you go -- a bonafide contest. Enter early and enter often.

Edge Strikes Again

Okay, I have to admit that I fully missed this exchange (even though I was watching and listening to the match!). This information is from Peter The Hegemon, who posted the following on The W last night:

Everyone missed the big story here:

EDGE SAID SHNITSKY!!!

In light of the other Bulldog-isms he's used on the air, I think we can now say with complete safety that Edge is the biggest Inside The Ropes fan ever.

EVER!!!


The plot thickens...

WWE 24/7 Viewing of the Day

So I may have mentioned here before that I was really pumped up for the "Monday Nitro Tenth Anniversary Special." I mean, love it or hate it, the show DID produce a lot of memorable matches and moments during its 5 1/2 year run (which makes the "tenth anniversary" part kind of a lie, but whatever.... it was ten years ago today that Nitro first aired.

Unfortunately... that's all the special was: a replay of the first Nitro. What the hell? Coming from the company that RULES at putting together comprehensive nostalgia packages, you think they could have put something together better than THIS? A best of Nitro special could have made it to DVD. But this, without commercials, was maybe fifty minutes in length. Ugh.

They did have some new "footage", namely brief interview snippets from Eric Bischoff, Bobby Heenan, Arn Anderson and Gene Okerlund commenting on that first night. Certainly not a thrilling retrospective, though.

The show itself (which I'd never seen before) was actually decent. LIVE! From the Mall of America in Bloomington, MN. Only three matches aired (at least on this version) -- Brian Pillman vs. Jushin Liger, in which Pillman botched a ton of spots; Sting vs. Ric Flair in a great little contest, which featured interference by Arn Anderson; and Hulk Hogan vs. Big Bubba, which featured interference by the Dungeon of Doom and the returning Lex Luger.

The hosts for the first episode were Bischoff, Heenan and Steve McMichael. Mongo was pretty horrible -- calling Heenan "Bobby The Hernia" and "Bobby The Stain", though Heenan was a little off, too, asking McMichael why he hadn't even won a Super Bowl ring. Of course, he had, which made the moment a little awkward.

There was an interview with Hulk Hogan at his food court restaurant called PastaMania. I swear the promo sounded pretty much like this: "Brother, PastaMania is running through all these Hulkamaniacs, brother. It's Hulkamania. It's PastaMania. Hulkamania. PastaMania. HulkaPastaMania! Brrrrother!" You also saw a pre-filmed vignette of Mr. Wall Street, who made a unmemorable reference to his then-recent stint as IRS.

The only other angle development (besides Luger's return and the Anderson-Flair feud) was Scott Norton coming to ringside and demanding a match. Heenan ran out of the way and helpfully pointed out that Bischoff was in charge of making matches (hilarious!). Eventually, Randy Savage made it to ringside, setting up for a bout on next week's Nitro.

As I said, nothing spectacular, but a decent taste of Nitro Nostalgia. But certainly not what I was expecting, or hoping for.

Wow!

I can't believe I just found out now that there's a bar in downtown Toronto called Gorilla Monsoon (about halfway down the page). I bet the place is "literally packed to the rafters."

Unrelated note: My viewing from WWE 24/7 last night was a good, if not offbeat, choice: Classic Interviews of the AWA. This was a production made probably four or five years ago when Mean Gene Okerlund's son owned the AWA library. You have standard AWA interviews from guys like The Road Warriors, Andre The Giant, Dusty Rhodes, The Crusher, Baron Von Raschke, Nick Bockwinkel, etc. Then some really awesome stuff from Mad Dog Vachon, Hulk Hogan, Iron Sheik, Stan Hansen and my favorites, clips of vintage Bobby Heenan (you can see that Okerlund, who was conducting the interview, is trying quite hard not to laugh at Heenan's remarks).

Also caught (well, skimmed through), a Los Angeles house show from 1988 over the weekend. Matches included Curt Hennig (JUST before becoming Mr. Perfect) vs. S.D. Jones, Randy Savage vs. Andre The Giant, Hart Foundation vs. Rougeau Brothers (the only good match on the show) and a main event of Jake Roberts vs. Rick Rude. Worth watching on fast-forward, but that was about it.

As I continue to shill 24/7, I'll note there's some awesome, awesome stuff on this week: The 10th anniversary of Monday Nitro (hosted by Eric Bischoff), WrestleMania XI (LT-Bam Bam, Michaels-Diesel) and Great American Bash '96 (This was the one right before the Hogan-nWo turn). Some quality retro stuff there.

Latest ITR

Where 2, J?

Alright, so that's a shitty pun, not worthy of OO. But the general point remains: where is Chris Jericho gonna show up next? Discounting rock shows, we're all wondering where his next WRESTLING appearance is gonna be. And luckily, our very own Intrepid Reporter, the Canadian Bulldog, has uncovered some shocking plans for the one called "Lionheart." You think the "leaked" graphic of Jericho under a TNA logo was a big tell? Guess again, Junior.... because Bulldog knows where Jericho's heading AFTER TNA. And then after that. And then after THAT place, too. It's a pretty involved itinerary, but you know how it is: graphics can't POSSIBLY lie! So let Bulldog fill you in on all the hot JeriGossip (and some other timely news, too) in Inside the Ropes.

Programming notes

I apologize for the lack of updating lately - I've been busier than ever with work and a whole lot of other projects. But that should be it for those, at least for a little while.

I expect to have a new ITR out tonight on the OO, and possibly a new DVD review sometime soon, chronicling everything Mick Foley on DVD, ever. Some exciting things on the book are afoot as well, and I'm actually starting a NEW book project that likely won't ever be completed (though its nice to dream).

Also wanted to take this opportunity to thank everyone for visiting this site (even as I'm not updating it all that frequently). I see that there were a record number of unique visitors last month, at least since I started tracking this about eight months ago. I appreciate the visits.